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susan l. cohn & associates

710 NW Juniper Street Suite 108 Issaquah WA 98027

December 27, 2015

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say …

working out feelings in a journal before speakingI am having a moment. I am having a moment of defeat.

Since I was a young girl I have always kept a journal. I am now 40 and I STILL keep a journal. It is a safe place for me to write my most inner feelings and thoughts. There is no judgment. There are NO limits. If someone or something rubs me in a wrong way, I vent in my own writing on my own terms. I choose not to vent publicly on a lot of things that could definitely use some venting out loud, but are not worth my energy as I often feel better venting to my journal albeit I do not get a response. I do not internalize my thoughts. I am not passive. Instead I transfer them to the written word. I make a conscious, mindful choice where to expend my energy. Tonight, after days of extreme perseveration, I sit here and write. I vent outside of my journal. I vent publicly because I feel it worth my energy to expend. Those close to me know that I am a very sensitive soul.

As we near year-end, I was recently looking over all aspects of the practice so to round out the year including reviewing the website, Google+, YELP, etc., and in so doing I came across a very… VERY negative review and 1 star rating about the practice on YELP dated 11/21/15; a review that is completely due to miscommunication. Immediately I felt a stomach punch. For the first time in 5 years of ownership, my practice has dropped down to 4.5 stars and all because of a misunderstanding/miscommunication. I did try and call the reviewer ~ the 1st time from my home office (“private”) line which may not have been worthy of the reviewer to answer at the time or check in on the call or voicemail I left one day following the initial call with 2 more attempts from my mobile line. I tried. I have my mobile phone “Recents” log to show such. Yet instead of trying other avenues this reviewer opted NOT to e-mail, call my mobile, or visit our Business Facebook messenger if he really, REALLY was trying to get in touch with me. Instead his negativity prevailed. He posted on YELP his 1 star review. Sigh. After talking with so many, I am realizing the hard way that sometimes certain people feel better when they bash and bully. Since I have no tolerance for bullies I move on… although reluctantly knowing I did all the right things. Why is it the negative crud lingers so deep, so much more than the positive?

As a Mom, I continue to teach my 2 children now 11 and 7 that if they like something, “compliment” and if they don’t, “talk it through” OR use the written word and vent in their journals; THINK before you say or do anything outloud! Oh, and if they do not have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This is my mantra as a therapist too. Written expression can be such an outlet and therapeutic.think before speaking parenting advice for children

A picture hangs in my clinic office. I got it as a present from my parents after earning my Masters degree that says, “Communication is the Key to Success. Pass it On.” I also have a picture in my home office that says if you don't have something nice to say then say nothing at all“Practice Aloha.” If only all could take a deep breath and practice ALOHA!! That would be a Utopia!!!

Here is to a Happy New Year; one that is filled with mindful communication, peace, love, joy, and POSITIVITY!!!

Now I feel better ~a


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Susan L. Cohn and Associates